What Happened at the Swapping Party

How to hold a swapping party: here's what I learned.

May 03, 2023

First of all: let’s be clear, this is clothes swapping, not boyfriend swapping which is what several of my filthier friends assumed. You are welcome to hold a boyfriend swapping party, just don’t ask me for the rules.

Ready, steady, swap: Sustainability campaigner Yasmin Mills brought some fantastic pieces to my party

Clothes swapping on the other hand, and I’ve got some insights. I held my first one last week, and it was ENORMOUS fun. It took a bit of planning (not too much) and we had to think on our feet on the night, but everyone who came went home with something wonderful and had a pretty giddy time in the process. It was all women, but I’d love to do it with men next time as there’s so much scope for wardrobe crossover these days. However, as we all know, there’s a special type of energy when it’s all women in the room, plus it means everyone can strip to their knickers and no one minds.

Bring your treasures

Obviously, it’s a brilliant way to inject something new into your wardrobe without buying anything new. Secondly, its a good way to get rid of things you just don’t wear. Which brings me to my first point: make sure your guests bring their treasures, not their crap. They should bring clothes they wouldn’t be afraid to give their best friend for their birthday, because of course the better stuff everyone brings, the better stuff they walk away with.

A Christopher Kane cocktail dress, Philip Lim tuxedo, Isabel Marant boots and some designer sunnies were all brilliant donations

Choosing what to bring is an exercise in itself. You need to be a bit reluctant to give them away because they are valuable - either because you love them but don’t fit them anymore, or have out grown them, or because they cost you money. If it’s the latter hopefully they are quality in which case they absolutely should be given a second life. Other guests said they couldn’t wait to give away their things - they had lain unworn in the wardrobe for years and were just cluttering it up.

But it’s worth remembering our clothes are emotional objects - they often have memories and purpose attached to them which is why we end up hoarding. Swapping is sometimes easier than donating - at least you know you are going to get something in return.

Pick your guests

I suggest you pick your guests carefully. Make sure you all share similar fashion aspirations, and really could share wardrobes. Size, age and shape don’t matter a jot (accessories are actually a really valuable part of your swap as everyone can incorporate a new bag/belt/pair of sunglasses into the their wardrobe), but one woman’s Coast t shirt is not necessarily another woman’s Christopher Kane cocktail dress. If you see what I mean.

It helps if your guests align when it comes to fashion aspirations

Secondly make sure people don’t bring too much - you will need to sort through what they bring the moment they arrive, and get it hung up or displayed quickly, so you don’t want to be wading through a bin bag of items. I put a ceiling on four pieces for each guest, and we had about 30 people in total. With 120 items in the room, that gave everyone plenty of choice, but also meant we weren’t too overwhelmed. Also 30 guests was just about manageable, (and I had a co-host, the brilliant

The Queenager with Eleanor Mills

), anymore than that and I might not have been able to manage the swapping so it was fair.

What you’ll need

Make sure you have plenty of hangars and rails, and also a table or two to display accessories. I also brought cards and a pen so I could remind everyone how many items they brought - if you brought 4, I gave you a ticket for 4 and you could take 4 things home, was my reasoning. Actually it didn’t work out like this (although it was a good loose rule to have in place). Generally if they found one brilliant thing, the guests were more than happy to walk away with just that, plus maybe a one more thing they weren’t quite expecting. Some took home more than 4, but only because the leftover pieces hadn’t yet found a home.

Also, don’t forget the drinks. Like you need telling.

A fair swap

But what happens if someone brings a slightly tatty old dress with a stain in the skirt, and wants to take home a brand new handbag? Well this was the dilemma we had at the swapping party. In the end, we decided that those who brought the higher calibre of donations deserved to walk away with the best product. It soon became clear that there were a few things in the room everyone wanted - a Mother of Pearl dress, a Philip Lim tuxedo and a Prada handbag were some of them, (it really was a treasure trove of swag because we encouraged everyone to bring their best things - make sure you do the same!). These were all hotly contested.

Timings on the day

As guests arrived we served drinks and everyone started rummaging. To prevent all the good stuff going to early arrivals, we encouraged everyone to try everything on first, and then not do any swapping till the end (make sure you have mirrors and a changing room, although my guests soon got so giddy they were stripping off in front of everyone, like it was Topshop changing room, 2006).

It also meant people couldn’t lay claim to items because they were the last ones to touch them. I invited everyone for 6.30, and then we did the actual swap at 8pm. Giving everyone a deadline built the anticipation and excitement, and it made sure everything was returned to the racks by a certain point, so we could parcel it all out. And this was the lovely bit - everyone was styling everyone else - ‘You would look great in this!’ ‘Have you tried this dress?’ ‘What about these pants - they would look great with that jacket!’

Eleanor and I did a little talk about the circular economy and our relationship with fashion: it’s a good way to give a focus to the evening and also remind everyone why we’re here

We interrupted proceedings with a little talk about the circular economy (always good to have a few stats and facts up your sleeves to give people a reason for what they’re doing), we got a few laughs and then got on with the business at hand.

We started off with the most wanted items and asked people to pitch for them. We made our decisions based on whether they had already got something fabulous, and how lovely the donated things they brought were. Undoubtedly there were one or two disappointed people, but then we gave them their first dibs on the next best thing they wanted. I’m not sure how you avoid this. Someone brought a glorious cashmere Armani overcoat and there were a good 6 people who had their heart set on it.

However, most people had something by the time we got half way through, and then it was a question of matching people and clothes up. One friend got a Victoria Beckham vest dress she would never have chosen, but when she tried it on she looked incredible. She messaged me three days later to say she had gone to work in it!

I inherited a black Marc Jacobs dress I wore to a party just this weekend - it has a lovely bubble skirt and a sort of Audrey Hepburn neckline. It made me feel younger, and there’s nothing like wearing something new to a party instead of something you’ve worn tens of times before. I also think I can layer it with my white shirt and a jacket which would make it daywear appropriate.

Everything that was left on the rails at the end of the night went to Smart Works, the charity that helps women back into the workplace with interview outfits and training, which meant guests felt guilt free about leaving items behind. Most of them set off for a cocktail bar, teetering on new pairs of Terry de Havilland heels and Amina Muaddi flip flops.

Please do let me know if you have had swapping parties and learned anything - I would love to hear of any happening, or in the planning. Hit me up for support if you need it!

Rule of Five

Discussion about this post