I bought my first thing
And it's the best in the world of its kind. But here's what I found out about myself in the process.
I’ve done it, I’ve bought the first of my five. And what a joy this first purchase has proved to be! I held off for as long as I could (and sort of enjoyed the enforced sobriety), avoiding shop windows, not clicking on ecom sites and blocking social media ads as much as was humanly possible.
Instead I gave much thought to what I really needed, what I really wanted. It turned out it was a plain white shirt, which was the last thing I would have called out when I first launched this campaign, but there are good reasons behind it, which I can walk you through below. Plus my journey to finding the best white shirt in the world, (as it had to be). But first, here’s my psychological take away.
Fashion, I have come to realise over the last few months, is my expression of progress, of growth. As I walked through the weeks of late winter and early spring (and is there anything more grey and chilling than those weeks in the UK), as work unfolds and children grow and light extends and friends come and go, evolving my wardrobe is how I mark those moments. It really is about newness, about starting again, about going round the sun one more time, but differently this time. Wearing what I wore last February pitches me right back to - last February. But I’m different now. I’m newer, more evolved, with a different perspective, renewed goals, a different calendar of events, meetings, socials, dates and fun. Different arguments, different challenges, different insights, different victories. Different feelings. All those different new things need to be identified by my wardrobe and how I project myself. Not being able to pop into a store and pick something out to cypher that felt weird.
As some wise souls in this community have said to me, we need to find different ways to counter those triggers. Maybe it’s taking up meditation, getting a new exercise class, learning to cook something new, having a new level of conversation (gah!), but it can’t be just buying stuff. I got a haircut, and that helped, and I’ve been experimenting with make up which helps too. But nothing felt as good as buying that shirt last week, and it’s been on my back almost every day since. It feels so good. In it, I feel new.
Pretty amazing that I didn’t own a white shirt already, right? Of course I have a couple, but one is too fancy and can’t be layered under things, another is just plain old, and ripped around the first week in February, and another is collarless and flouncy. This did not suit my new tactical move into Uniform Tiffanie! (see Substack post passim).
A white shirt might sound boring, but my search for the perfect one turned out to be anything but. I actually bought a linen one in Zara last summer, which shrank in the wash, lost its colour and has not held its shape, (let that be my last Zara purchase for some time). Plus the ‘boyfriend’ cut I was looking for is very particular - it has to fit just right over the shoulders (snugly, otherwise it’s unflattering), needs some length in the body and needs a lovely sleeve you can fold over and push back to show off your wrists, or to pull out when layered under knits. The collar needs to be stiff enough to pull out over jackets, and the material needs to be crisp enough to hold its shape and thick enough now to not reveal your bra. Reader, I searched high and low.
Eventually I went with Pip Durell’s With Nothing Underneath brand. An ex fashion editor, she set up a shirt specialist company to cater for shirt nerds. I got turned on to them by a stylist and a couple of art directors (easily the nerdiest profession in the universe) who are extremely particular on taste, cut and design. One has several shirts from this brand and I can see why - once you have found the perfect fit you can get it in denim, a stripe version, something soft and flannel-y for the weekend. WNU’s boyfriend cut fits just right around the shoulder and is loose enough under the armpit to be freeing without making it look too baggy. The fabric is thick enough not to show your bra (key) and stiff enough to hold its shape. The collar is also stiff, so you can pull it out over jackets without it doing that annoying curling up thing, and the sleeves are nice and long so you can turn the cuffs back to show off wrists, or pull them out under jumper sleeves. And the prices are extremely reasonable for such levels of perfection: £95.
I also looked at ELV denim, where stylist and founder Anna Foster has a gorgeous boyfriend cut, and uses recycled 300 thread count hotel sheets for material; and of course Margaret Howell which is the first port of call for all uniform shoppers.
So there we go: one down, four to go. But I’m going to enjoy this one for some time to come.
What do you think, the right purchase or should I have gone with something more stand out?
the very fact that your purchase was so considered is touching. I am trying to break my habit of buying "because of how it makes me feel" over what i need anything. (I don't 'need" anything).
Having given up lots of 'not so good' habits over the last 20 years.. knee jerk shopping was a bad habit learned at the end of the 80's for me (and my mother would always buy loads of tat and then take it back). This is a habit i really need to kick. And also any tips on best places to unload it..
I love this! I have the perfect white shirt (for me it’s Frank and Eileen, but it would fail some of your tests). I’ve been enjoying just not purchasing too, but I really really appreciate your thinking so hard about why we want the new things and I think you are right--and also right that we need to replace that feeling with something else. My daughter cleaned out her closet and I took an old sweater of hers, which filled in some of it. And I’m trying to go deeper into my wardrobe and wear ALL my things instead of wearing out a few--especially not “saving” my favorites. Thank you for inspiring me to join this campaign!